We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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