so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
