I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
