He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
