Pappa wants mamma naked
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
