my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
