I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
