Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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