yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
