five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
