oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
