Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
