I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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