We named our party play list daddy issues
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
