never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
