Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
