The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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