so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
