I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
