Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
