My first STD was from a foam party
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize