why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
