I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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