whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
