I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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