is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found the puke drawer
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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