Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you would pick up someone in the library
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
