You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize