Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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