i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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