dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
