I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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