good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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