I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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