meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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