Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
