i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Found the puke drawer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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