normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
be right there i have to get my cape
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
