How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
