Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize