Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
