i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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