Apparently you make a good broom.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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