I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
