Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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