Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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