Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
