Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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