he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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