I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
