Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
