I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
