Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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