i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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