and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
