PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
