I'm going to jail i love you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
