ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize