So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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