Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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