im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
