While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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