dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
