Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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