I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
