then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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