His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
