i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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