I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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