It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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