GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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