and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
