Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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