she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
3pm strippers are depressing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
