To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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